I'm going to be a father?!?!

I never really wanted children in this day and age. I was worried about all of the violence, poverty, and utter chaos in this world along with my own fears from my childhood and worries about my ability to raise a child without severe psychoses. I have gotten over most of these or at least learned to deal with them.Violence. It's all around us in this day and age and I worry about something happening to myself and now I’m also worried about Bailey and Heather. I didn’t like having to move all around as a kid and was worried about living in some of those places.

I have started reflecting on my childhood a lot more lately as I think about Bailey and how I'm going to overcome the obstacles that are in the way of me giving her the things that I wanted as a child and do better with the next generation. I think that we all try to do better with the next generation than our parents did for us. Now this doesn't always happen for one reason or another, but I think we all tell ourselves, "I'm not going to make the same mistakes that my parents did." We can tell ourselves that but we all do. Now we may be able to avoid some of the mistakes, or situations may have changed, or we may come across ones our parents didn't have to deal with, but we all make our own parenting mistakes.

To help me be a better parent I have started making mental notes on things I would like for my daughter (wow that’s weird to say), values I would like to instill in her, and things I would like to get her or help her in experiencing. Some of the things I have come up with so far are:

• Ability to protect herself

I plan on enrolling her in martial arts training at an early age and teaching her skills to help her survive in an urban jungle.

• Confidence

As a child I was shy and had low self esteem and it took me years to become the self-centered ass that I am today. I want my child to be able to hold her head high and know herself well enough to what she is and isn’t capable of.

• Open-minded

It’s a lot harder to get to know someone or something if you have already shut your mind. With so many things to experience in this world a closed mind only shuts that part of the world out from you.

• See the wonders of the world

My great-grandparents took me to see a lot of places around the States when I was a kid and it was one of the things I liked about my childhood. I hope to show Bailey some of the same things and hope to show her what the world is like outside of the States too.

This isn’t a comprehensive list by any means and I will probably add to it as time permits but these are some of the things on my mind that I would like Bailey to have.

Prenatal Classes

Tonight Heather and I went to an open house directed by Birth to Three.  While it was informative and we will probably take some of their classes after Bailey is born, it was mostly for new parents and their new children.  After the open house was over, we asked one of the ladies presiding over the meeting about classes for people who are pregnant and wanting to learn about parenthood before the child comes out.  Our answer was less than pleasing.  They told us that there are very few classes available for expecting parents.

I’m the type of person who likes to be prepared in whatever venture I do and parenthood is no different.  I have been studying and learning all I can but would like a class or seminar or something where I can get current and accurate information and can ask questions.  Unfortunately the economy is in such a terrible rut that no one is able to make donations to non-profit groups.  This means that the few prenatal classes that do exist are reduced or cut.  This is very unfortunate for people like Heather and I who want to have an idea of what to expect before birth.